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Hulu’s 2012 Oscars Liveblog

February 26th, 2012 by Hulu

Welcome to Hulu’s 2012 Academy Awards liveblog. We’ve hired a bunch stray, catty Golden Girls extras to judge the Red Carpet coverage. So that’s first. Then we’ll have some food to throw at the TV for when Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close wins any award at all.

It’ll be a messy night. Enjoy.

Live Updates:

4:50 — For anybody who didn’t see last night’s Seth Rogen Independent Spirit Awards monologue last night, he makes Billy Crystal seem about as relevant as a vaudeville performer crackin’ wise about President McKinley’s facial hair in the 1890s.—Ben Collins

4:57 — Judging by the genuine shock on the Bachelorette’s face after that commercial just proclaimed, “You’ll never guess who her first date is with,” we’re guessing her first date is with Chris Brown. —BC

5:03 – Interview with Jason Segel. How I Met Your Oscar. -Martin Moakler

5:04 – Speaking of President McKinley’s facial hair, Ben, check out the mustache on Bradley Cooper. -MM

5:06- Price Waterhouse in the, uh, house. You can count on them for fun. (I’ll see myself out) -MM

5:08 – Somebody asked Zack Galifianakis what he was wearing and he said “Garanimals.” I’m sure he came up with that in August and held it until today. I am so proud of that boy. —BC

5:12 – Um, you guys, where’s Angelina? Brad shaves the beard and Angelina isn’t on the red carpet. There must be a connection there somewhere. -MM

5:13 – It’s nice that Sandra Bullock isn’t sporting a Nazi this year. -MM

5:17 – Today is really the seat fillers’ chance to shine. -MM

5:25 – These last ten minutes are for all those times you’ve watched the Oscars and wondered how they were made…or, you know, filler. -MM

5:27 – Really hope Tom Hanks’ Colonel Sanders chic look catches on.—Rebecca Harper

5:28 – Also, Meryl Streep is dressed as the Hamburglar.—BC

5:39 – “Uma. Oprah. Oprah. Uma.” No matter how bad it gets tonight, just know that it’s already been worse. -MM

5:30 – OF COURSE Morgan Freeman opens the show.  Safest Oscars ever? -Gabe Pasillas

5:31 – Morgan Freeman should introduce everything. No joke here. Just certifiable truth.

5:34 – I doubt Justin Bieber knows who Sammy Davis, Jr. is because I had forgotten I knew who he was. -MM

5:36 – Take a drink if you’ve got Sammy Davis Jr. and Justin Bieber making a Hitler joke in your Oscars drinking game. —BC

5:39 – So we’re at the point with awards shows where we don’t even have to set up randomly breaking into song now? Got it. —BC

5:42 – I want Carl to be my best friend. – GP

5:42 – You guys, I called the seat filler shout out. I’m scared. -MM

5:43 – Best Cinematography: Robert Richardson, Hugo.

5:44 – Best Art Direction, Hugo

5:46 – Every time I try to type Hugo it comes out as Hulu. They’ve conditioned me well. -MM

5:47 – The theme of this montage is “movies.” -MM

5:55 – Did Cameron Diaz and JLo show off their, uh, assets to cover up a wardrobe malfunction? – RH

5:58 – Best Makeup, The Iron Lady

6:04 – Now that J.Lo and Cameron are giggling in the ladies’ room together, we can return to montages featuring Morgan Freeman – Naivasha Dean

6:07 – Best Foreign Language Film: Iran’s “A Separation”

6:11 – Aww, now everyone go hug your mom a la Jessica Chastain. We love you, Mom! – RH

6:12 – Best Supporting Actress: Octavia Spencer, The Help

6:14 – Betting that this is the first time a plot line mainly about eating poop snagged anyone an Oscar. We love you, Octavia. – ND

6:20 – It’s “A Mighty Wind” reunion! (this is also what it’s like to get script notes from executives) -MM

6:22 – Seeing Fred Willard just makes us want to watch this clip over and over again.

6:24 – Go Jim’s Dad! (This is also what it’s like to go to film school) -ND

6:24 – Bradley Cooper is just in from robbing a train. -MM

Best Film Editing, The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo (sorry, chicken fingers just got here and I was distracted)

6:27 – Rooney Mara grew her eyebrows back with a vengeance for the ceremony. Good choice. – ND

Best Sound Mixing, Hugo (They really want to keep me away from the chicken fingers that just got here)

6:31. Great. So does this mean we have to see Hugo now? – SD

6:34 – They say that Hugo is a “love letter to film.” Film feels the same way.  – ND

6:34 – I like how Piggy’s hair is particularly au courant, mirroring styles worn by Tina Fey and JLo. – MM

6:35 – I was thinking she could teach JLo a thing or two about cleavage. – RH

6:37 – This awards show could use more Statler and Waldorf, not Piggy and Kermit. — Andrea Marker

6:39 – This Cirque du Soleil thing is exactly what happened to me when I went to see The Vow at the Loews in Temecula last night. — BC

6:42 – The age jokes should be even better the 15th time that Billy hosts this.  – ND

Best documentary: the one that explained what the heck just happened between RDJ and Goop. Just kidding: Undefeated

Best Animated Feature: Rango

6:58 – Emma Stone is hitting on Jonah Hill – Judd Apatow is now directing our lives. – ND

Best Visual Effects: Hugo

Best Supporting Actor: Christopher Plummer

7:01 – Forget Kermie, Miss Piggy! We think you should set you sights on Christopher Plummer, who’s looking sharp in that velvet tux tonight. – RH

7:04 – History in the making, folks! Christopher Plummer receives a standing ovation by everyone who can stand without assistance from their stylists.  – ND

7:06 – Just saw an ad for Titanic in 3D. Citizen Kane with Smell-o-Vision is next. — BC

7:10 An unidentified Hulu employee suggests to release “The Jerk” in 3D next. – SD

Best Original Score: Whatever basketball game is playing in the sports bar behind us! And “The Artist”

7:17 – And let the Oscar campaign begin: Ferrell and Galifianakis as hosts in 2013.- RH

Best Original Song: “Man or Muppet.” No surprise there.

7:19 – We’ve reached the point in the Oscars where we’re all passing power cords around. – RH

7:25 – Angelina and her leg will now present the Oscar. -MM

Best Adapted Screenplay: Alexander Payne, “The Descendants”

7:27 – Is anyone else hearing the microphone feedback? Angelina’s cyborg qualities now include a robot voice. – ND

7:31 – The Dean from Community just won an Oscar. Cool cool cool cool cool cool cool cool cool cool cool cool cool cool cool cool cool. — BC

7:33 – Adam Sandler’s aspiration is to tell the truth through film. That’s why he made “Jack and Jill.” – ND

7:34 – Woody Allen is one of my favorite artistic people in the world, but what the hell else is he doing tonight? — BC

7:38 – Seriously, how funny would it be right now if they got food poisoning? -MM

Best Live Action Short:The Shore (Not so fast, The Situation…we’re not talking about you)

Best Documentary Feature: Saving Face

Best Animated Short – “The Ketchup and the Face.”

Just kidding. It’s “The Fantastic Flying Books of Mr. Morris Lessmore.” I’m sure that deception changed your lives. —BC

7:49 – “The Fantastic Flying Books of Mr. Morris Lessmore” only won because it was the longest title to hear in this loud bar. -MM

7:52 – Glad Billy Crystal busted out that Occupy Wall Street joke he wrote in early November. —AM

Best Directing: Michel Hazanvicius, “The Artist”

7:54 – He’s speaking so long for all the dialogue that wasn’t in the film. -MM

7:55 – The French invaded one thing successfully — this ceremony. -ND

8:05 – Where was Deangelo Vickers in that In Memoriam? —BC

8:08 – Oh hey Steve Jobs. Didn’t expect to see you in this In Memoriam because I usually forget about the whole Pixar thing — but we still miss you. Also, the other day I forgot my iPod Shuffle in my pants and washed and dried it…and it still works. Thanks. – ND

8:10 – To recap the “in memoriam”: 4 actors died and Esperanza Spalding is amazing. – NA

Best Actor in a Leading Role: Jean DuJardin

8:21 – French Bradley Cooper wins!!! – ND

Best Actress in a Leading Role: Meryl Streep!

8:30 – Lucky # 3 for Meryl…I think her dressing up as Oscar helped. -ND

8:32 – Ethan Hunt is finally bringing an end to this night! #missionimpossible -MM

Best Picture: The Artist! Thank you, good night!

8:38 – That’s it…everyone join hands and sing “La Marseillais.” – ND

8:39 – Now we’re all reading Angelina Jolie’s Leg’s Twitter account. – SD

8:42 – Thanks for coming by tonight, everybody. Hope you had as nice a time as Uggie will tonight, surrounded by 5,000 metric tons of Beggin’ Strips. Check out our continuing Oscars coverage here.

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