“I wanna be a sportswriter.”
“That’s all I need.”
“What do you mean?”
“The word ever gets out I was responsible for bringing another sportswriter into this world, my ex-teammates will kill me.”
“Well, I’ll never tell a soul.”
— The White Shadow, On The Line
- • Grantland.com‘s Molly Lambert has found a bunch of weird stuff in the attic of our website that she thinks she can fashion into a really nice weekend.
- • Bill Simmons explains why he still stands behind The White Shadow, while imploring you to get off his lawn, you damn kids.
- • We break down the top five shows to ever air directly after a Super Bowl.
- • Grantland’s Andy Greenwald presents a veritable evolution chart for NBC’s great Thursday night comedy block.
- • Martin Moakler shows us the five best athlete hosts of SNL ever. He didn’t include Charles Barkley’s scared straight skit, so he will be reprimanded with a soldering iron.
- • Grantland and The New York Times Magazine’s Alex Pappademas saw Superman with a receding hairline in Las Vegas. That whole experience reminded him of one of the five nearly great movies he thinks you should watch on Hulu immediately.
- • Andrea Marker’s favorite soap opera is WWE Smackdown, and she will beat the hell out of you if you don’t agree with her.
- • James Goux had no idea he’d like Hoop Dreams quite so much.
Well, the NBA season was supposed to start this week. We’re fresh out of baseball. We’ve exhausted our supply of LeBron James jokes. Pinning our hopes on either free agency existing or Free Agents existing proved to be a severe bust. (Did you know the last episode of that show is titled “Rebranding?” Seriously. Look it up. Not only could they see the writing on the wall after the third episode, they personally took the time to write it there.)
We have somewhat severe lockout blues. Thank God for Grantland.
Last week, we called them—that nascent sports site of your dreams, where Chuck Klosterman talks about junior college basketball teams winning overtime games with three players and other things slightly like it—to see if they could talk us through it.
They are who to call when your appliances become sentient, when the government starts evacuating all of the world’s athletes to play charity football games on the moon. They will be able to rummage through the ESPN Classic tape catalogue and make it feel new.
“So tell me how you feel,” they said, then handed us a tissue.
They were very warm, very caring. They understood completely.
That’s why we’ve decided to let them help us program our site and our blog for this week. Grantland’s writers will be digging through our archives for weird, Antiques Roadshow-caliber gems. They’ll also be talking at a very high level about TV, profiling George Clooney using roles from his Hollywood infancy, and generally making it so we don’t have to trudge through the cold, dark winter alone, like Dwyane Wade in the 4th quarter of an NBA Finals game.
See? There was the very last LeBron James joke left on Earth. We just used it. We must find hobbies. This is our first shot at it.
It’s no NBA. It’s no seven-game World Series. But Grantland is going to try to make it so it’s close.—Ben Collins